This is the first post of many to come about the journey to my life change. Thanks again to everyone who has decided to come along on this journey with me. I look forward to hearing from all of you and getting feedback on how I am doing. Thank you all again.
Background:
I figured the best thing to do first was to start with a little bit of background so you know where I am right now and how I got here. I'm not going to start back as far as when I was a little girl, all you need to know was my insecurities started in elementary school and have never left. I've always been the 'fat' friend so because that's how I thought everyone else saw me that's how I have always seen myself since...
Anyways, around May (maybe June) of this past year, 2012, I decided I was tired of being the fat friend and was ready to change my life, not for the right reasons, but whatever it was a start. I signed up for Weight Watchers Online and began to track my food and do really well. When I started Weight Watchers Online I was at the highest I have ever been in my life, 217 lbs. That's when I realized that I have let myself go to far. Like I said, I have always had weight issues and I have always been the 'fat' one; when everyone else was a size 1 or 3 I was a 9 or 11, that's pretty big. Though I wear my weight well and I don't look as big as I am I was never comfortable with what I saw or what the scale said, so I needed to do something. Like I said I started Weight Watchers. I paid for it myself with money I had gotten from my birthday, I think, because I knew it would mean more to me if I forced myself to have a potential loss instead of my mom. Since I started I have had times where I do really really well for a few months and then I stop tracking and gain weight back. There was a point a few months ago that I got down to 196 lbs and that is the lowest I have gotten up to this point...This past October I was on an Emerging Leaders (honors) trip and it was there that I realized that the people around me already see me as the person that I want to be and that I'm the only one who doesn't. I realized that I have been letting a false belief I've had about myself for so long hold me back from doing the things I want to, all because of how I look on the outside. That's pathetic! I finally understood that I needed to make the change so I talked to a leader I'm really close to and he agreed to become my trainer. Both him and another leader that works out with him have become my special trainers and I work out with them every Monday - Friday for the past few months now. (yes there have been some days I have missed but it happens.) They help push me and keep me motivated.
As of right now:
I weighed in this morning at 206 lbs...fantastic...it's a starting point...
I have decided that as of right now I am starting my tracking again, starting today! I made a grocery list for my mom this morning of good food I want for the house that I can cook and make snacks with so I can focus on eating 5-6 meals a day like I'm supposed to and so I can eat better.
I'm not excited to be back up so high but I knew it was coming because of the things I have been eating. Everything is about choices and I know I haven't been making good ones, especially since it's that time of the year. Well, I guess now I have a place to start and you all know where I'm at so here we go on our journey together.
Viewer discretion advised:
I am going to post pictures below of me this morning after I weighed in so you can see my starting point... vvv This is where I am today and where I never want to be again. As hard as it is for me to put these up because they make me uncomfortable and I know they aren't flattering I truly believe this is what I need to do. This is my next step to actually making success and making my life change. Thank you for the love and support.
- Sami <3
- sorry about my little sisters trash can (: -
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